I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I don't know what I can do to myself that will hurt enough to be sufficient punishment for being a worthless waste of time, but will still not be noticeable to anyone else.

No, I know that that's not an approved topic of discussion and I'm not asking for suggestions or intending to say anything more about it. I know I'll end up doing nothing as always. Because I am a coward, too.