Agree, it's sort of a paradox or duality.

No doubt she has very egoic ways (judgement). And if I were to say that to her it would be a projection (maybe it already is just by saying it?). What you say about others is a projection of yourself. "You are this, you are that." I came on here wanting to label her. So in my mind I could say, "oh, she's a narcissist" or bpd or whatever label of the day we have for it. But once I started to do research on narcissism.... I basically saw a lot of myself. It just made me laugh. It was like I was judging myself.

At the end of the day. I guess I would rather be with her than be "right." Not because I like being a punching bag. It's because I don't view myself as a punching bag, or for that matter feel like one, my choice. I just "am." I yam what I yam. Lol

I used to feel separate from everyone and everything. This is "good", that is "bad." This is the "right" way and that is the "wrong" way. This person is this way, that person is that way and of course I am perfect. Etc etc. I think I've come to a place where everything just "is", no right or wrong. From this place of non judgement all the drama simply doesn't exist. I consciously choose not to give the negativity any thought or power by reacting to it. INstead compassion and love is born. I surrender, let it go and an inner peace comes over me. Simply put, as I calm down and let go, my acceptance of what "is" comes with ease and I no linger feel the need to judge.

It goes along with the train of thought that, we are all connected, we are all the same, we are one.

No doubt a new way for me. It feels really good no longer having to take a mental position of being "right."

Did that make any sense?

edit - I guess at the end of the day I am turning inward and looking for answers vs outward. It's working for me. Me complaining on this forum about her is an old way (outward), old story for me. Now I write a new one.