Seek attention for your problems in a healthy way and you probably feel less need for unhealthy expression.

Healthy expression, such as explaining why you do have problems, is difficult, but it can help.

I do think self-hurting is a way to explain, or justify or proof, to yourself (and possibly others) that you have problems. Like there must be physical pain when suffering. It's a way of expression. I think all self-damaging/-sabotaging is like that. A need for more apparent, more tangible challenges. I believe it is looking for more clear difficulties.

I believe it's a way to reduce confusion, (sometimes) a feeling of losing control and consequently anxiety. It's soothing.

But you may also channel frustration in other ways. Even looking at destruction helps, I've found. Maybe boxing. Buying stuff to completely destroy. That's also calming.

Accept you deserve attention without self-damaging behaviour.

I'm not saying it's easy, but that's how I try to lessen the frustration and confusion.

It's just a theory but may be better than no theory at all.

Of course, all this may not apply to you.