I feel the need to stay alive because I want to; though there are times when I don't know why. I guess as they say, "no one really want to kill themselves; they just want the pain(s) to go away". I would agree with that. I wouldn't have the nerve to try to end my life.

Life is fine for me but there are some "thorns" in me that I would want to see (or feel) go away. There are times when I feel like I would want to quit in life while I'm ahead. Some people have said that they would never want to trade places with me. They wouldn't want to live my life. But I don't think it's that bad. There are people I know of from the distance that have it really bad. I wonder if I could have a desire to live if I were in their shoes?

There are some people that would feel bad if I did myself in. I find that hard to believe because there are lots of times when I feel like no one cares. There are some here who have expressed that they have children and that's why they can't end it all. I don't have any children and a mate. Just one good friend and some acquaintances - and that's basically it.