Mouse & Sunrise, thanks for responding. I do really feel stuck.

Sunrise, a lot of what you said sounded familiar to me. In some ways I just want a break from thinking about things and just survive for awhile. But, I feel like I'd regret it someday and I didn't want my T to turn out to be another person I lost contact with. I wanted her to be my partner through all of this.

She did leave me a message today. Now the 'ball is back in my court' for returning that call. I don't know what to do. She said she wanted to see if I wanted to reschedule or if I wanted to take a break from therapy. Too bad she didn't say she couldn't survive without me as a client, then I would have gone back right away!

I don't know yet what I want to do, so I guess I'll wait awhile to call her back...also I have anxiety when talking on the phone so I'm not looking foward to returning the call.