The bit about the negative "voices" inside my head which can be so dominating and mirroring those in theeD world, I completely relate. Sending you much support and care.
(btw my keyboard is broken and doesn't type some numbers)

(About the feelings of not belonging, I guess it's something I've had lurking around somewhere for most of my life)

Like esthersvirtue said, please don't give up, and you are valued here, I really feel that is true.