Totally feel your pain.

I never thought therapy was anything else, but everything about it made it feel like it was. It was far too intimate and there was too much emotional entanglement. The shock when T did things that reminded me that her caring was conditional and superficial was horrific, a kick to the face. I felt like a fool and I accepted the blame for having become dependent and for having fallen for the ruse, even though I was set up.

I think this is one of the essential cruelties of therapy. The T's persona and performance draws out all your deepest needs and you idealize them and the perfect relationship forms before your eyes, and then what? It's a trap. And if T then pulls back, or you cant see them as often, or they terminate, etc then the client is wrecked.

Why was she jotting down notes when you are sitting there dying inside?