Took my 3-month HIV test today after cheating on H in January (he knows and we're working on it in counseling). It was negative, which is a good thing. Yet I feel like SHing. It's hard for me to accept that there are no repercussions to what I did. H is willing to work things out, I probably* don't have HIV...but I feel like I should be punished in some way, so maybe it's up to me to punish myself?

*From what I've read online, including from the CDC, 98% of people who are infected would test positive by 3 months. So presumably, I'm OK, but maybe I'm the 2%?