I am confused. I know what I have been doing the last week-in-a-half is wrong. I know that if it continues I will end up a drug addict. But yet, what if the only way you feel normal is when you're high. What if when you're high you can laugh, actually laugh. What if you see a brighter world. I know that this should stop but, I really don't see how stopping is a good thing. I know that if I do I will be a shell of who I really am. A shell waiting for the day that this all ends. Which would I rather have, a shell that hates life, or a druggie that wants to live high to high. What have I become? Am I just trying to end my life happily? Why can't I be happy sober? Is this my new life?