Well, at my appointment when I was resisting what she was saying to me, she actually said that a lot of people think it's bad when they hear they have bipolar disorder, and told me we would just focus on treating my symptoms and making sure I remain stable so that an episode like my mania induced psychotic break doesn't happen again (and yes, I was manic. I read my journal from that time period. Holy ****!).

And it was overall horrible, but there was moments of intense euphoria where I felt one with the universe, and I thought I could save the world.

And she told me no, I wasn't too old for something like that to happen. And that different stressors could induce it, now that I'm older.

Sigh.