Hello Beryozka: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit.

Well... I don't know... these just simply don't sound like friends to me. And I doubt there's anything you can do to change that. There's a saying I once heard: "There's no point in trying to teach a pig to sing because pig's can't sing. And all it does is make them mad." I think continuing to try to turn these individuals into friends is just likely to "make 'em mad..."

I can certainly understand that you are lonely. From what you wrote it sounds like you're in school in a country other than the one you were raised in. So you don't have any family or long-term friends around you. I believe you are correct that looking for a boyfriend is not a great idea at present if that person is going to end up being used as an emotional crutch. Of course, if one just happens to come along...

Unfortunately I don't know anything about what life is like where you live. If you were in school in the U.S. I'd suggest checking out the possibility of counseling services through the school or through other sources that provide free or income-based services. I'd also suggest becoming involved with some clubs or other types of social groups through your school, or doing some volunteer activities in your community as a way of getting to know other people & at the same time beginning to feel better about yourself. However I don't know if any such things as these are possibilities for you. Getting a job may help too, if you can find one. Plus you'd have money coming in... always a good thing.

Anyway, these are my thoughts with regard to your situation... for what they're worth ( not much probably...) I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find a way through your dilemma.