i'm ready for my dad's vacation to be over already. he goes back mon. and i can't wait. that must sound terrible. but the thing is, i feel like i can't do anything when he's around. i've basically been trapped in my room for 8 days. my room is in a state of disarray because i feel like i can't clean or do anything when he's here. my face is breaking out again because i've neglected my skin care routine, and i haven't brushed my teeth in three days.
i do love him because he's my dad, but i don't like him as a person anymore. he doesn't acknowledge how much he's hurt my mom and i and continues to hurt us by being indifferent. he doesn't try to be involved in my life even though i'm basically home all day every day so he has all the time in the world to get to know me. but i'm 19 and he doesn't know **** about me, nor does he care to seems like. i'm his only child, and i know he wanted a son, so maybe that's it. he just gives off this vibe that he doesn't care and i'm frankly sick of trying to get him to. he'll never care, so why should i?
we were supposed to do 'something fun' on this vacation 'as a family' but no one has said a word to me about anything and now i'm beating myself up mentally for getting my hopes up because who am i kidding, we never do anything fun. we're not even a family. i'm lucky if either of them say 20 words to me combined all day.