Hi P!

Fear is the worst inhibitor to our salvation. Be free!

I too was stuck being what I was born at in agony and feared change even though I dream of it. I outed myself to my family a few months ago (was drinking at the time) and I felt a little better. Now when it comes to everybody else, screw them. My business is not their business, and if they have a problem with any part of me, it's their problem and not mine. If they try to make their problem my problem, then I'll deal with it then. Until then, get out of my head. I get the wolf pack mentality.

I wanted peace in myself and needed more, so I starting a few months ago, I started letting go of the fears...a little at a time at a comfortable pace. I began by making a transition list with costs of surgeries, therapy, you know change stuff. This helped me feel like I'm taking steps to what should have been.

Now I allow the little things like wearing light make-up, painted toenails, gloss polish (no color) on the fingernails which I'm letting them grow a bit more. I shaped my eyebrows and took all the hair off my legs and arms. I wear my favorite colors like purple and pink shoes and hats out in public..and screw everybody else how they think. I'm not a gay man, but am a female in a man's body. I did all this a little at a time and found out that it goes unnoticed and ignored, especially at work (I'm a carpenter).

Go sit with the ladies, I would, but here I'm rejected because I don't have that charm or charisma- in short, this body isn't exactly a great looking body.

The other guys would be envious because they don't mix with the girls.

I hope you find your freedom.