Hello defenesttratedmuse: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit.

You mentioned having been through a very dark period several decades ago. So I presume you are, perhaps, a bit older? Personally I think this trust issue you mention is something that becomes more of an issue as we get a few more years under our belts, so to speak. I know I certainly have it. I don't see a therapist. I've tried a few over the years. But I never found one I thought was worth the effort... or the expense!

I'm pretty-much solitary nowadays, by choice. So I have no friends or even acquaintances really. You mentioned your spouse. I'm married as well. However, my spouse really just doesn't want anything to do with what's going on with me. She's a master at just sucking it up & trudging on... & she expects me to do the same... so I do... as best I can. It's a struggle. But being here on PC helps.