Am I expecting too much? It's just to me, that's what true friendship means...someone you can tell everything to. My boyfriend is the closest thing to a best friend I've had in years. But of course we have arguments and stuff that I'd like to be able to talk to someone else about. Someone who knows me, not people on a forum, though sometimes that's the only option I have. And seems to be for some other people too.
Am I crazy for expecting the same amount of trust and respect that I give to a friend? It's not like I expect them to have no life away from me, but I want to hear about it. I want someone I can share everything with, I'm a very open person, and when I realize they're not being as open as me, I always feel betrayed.

Recently I've started wondering if that's why I have no friends. The thing is, if it is, I don't see what I can possibly do about it. I can't stop myself feeling used. A friend I don't tell everything to is a "work friend" or an acquaintance. I want a real friend, and it feels like all or nothing to me.
How can I change the definition of "friend" that I've had for as long as I can remember? If I have to change the definition to even have a friend, then what's the point? It will always feel one-sided to me.
Am I doomed to never have a real friend again? Should I just accept that there's no one in the world who will care enough to reciprocate the complete honesty and fierce loyalty that I am willing to give?

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