This will be extremely long so please bare with me:
So just to sum it up before I go into detail:
Mother's Day is tomorrow. I'm 400 miles away from my friends and family. I'm going through a VERY hard break up, and Mother's Day is always terrible for me.
My mom passed away 6 years ago. When I was 15 I had a son who was adopted by a wonderful family, but I chose not to have children after that... and now I'm almost 30, no mom, and no kids. I hate mother's day.
I'm living in a different state now. I moved out here a year and a half ago with my ex boyfriend (he was my bf of EXACTLY 2 years until we broke up 2 weeks ago... on our anniversary).
I haven't made friends out here so now I'm out here completely alone (well, not completely, I have made one good friend, but that's it)
We had broken up 7 months ago and were broken up for a month with very minimal contact (mostly him ignoring me), and after a month we got back together.
Things got worse after that.
We broke up 2 weeks ago.
Last week he took off our relationship status.
The next day his ex girlfriend started liking the pictures I tagged him in.
I flew off the handle and talked a lot of crap.
Today he came and got all his things.
He told me he wanted to get back together until I talked all that crap.
I told him I would have done anything for him. I tried to kiss him, he wouldn't kiss me.
He texted me after he left and said if I love him I wouldn't have cheated on him.
I told him I didn't cheat on him (because I never did) and he said that's not what he heard.
It's over. It's done. He has ignored all my texts since than.
I'm trying every angle I can now in my texts to him.
Jealousy (not working)
Niceness (not working)
Guilt (not working)
and so I'm laying on my couch, crying my eyes out.
He said we can talk tomorrow when he comes back to pick up his dog (I asked to keep her for one more night)
But I'm pretty sure he'll just end up sending his mom to pick her up so he can avoid me.
I hurt so badly.
__________________
If you don't have a song to sing you're okay.
You know how to get along humming.
|