I'll try and make this short and sweet. I have a younger half sister (19years old now) and we grew up together. I had to do a big part of raising her since she was born (I was 10) because her mom was an addict. My dad had full custody and worked over time running his own company. I often had to skip school to take care and feed her. Changed diapers etc. Pretty much I've always called her my sister, never "half". When we were younger we were very close but as my bipolar and depression evolved, our relationship grew apart. I was more alternative and she grew up to be outgoing and cared about being popular and pretty. Many times I've reached out and tried to be close and I've helped her every time she needed. Now, I'm not saying this because I'm upset, but she honestly wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire.

Whenever I was ill from MI she more or less told me to "ugh, suck it up" and rolled her eyes. Yet I still tried. When she was in highschool she HAD to go where her cool friends were which was quite a drive. I got up every morning at 6am to drive her to school and pick her up. Then again at night for softball. When she needed rides and sometimes even an alibi for my dad, I had her back. We borrowed clothes, did hair, talked about boys. Then once I started doing bad mentally and in other aspects of life, I became unpopular in her book. Well I'm wise enough to know that the cool boys and pretty clothes won't get you far in life...and that's when we drifted.

Just last night, I had a death of an infant on my side of my family and I went on my dads tonight to be with my family. When I got there and brought it up, she says "like omg you're so depressing what is your problem?" I took great offense to this. I'm having a pretty hard time dealing with this loss and I just needed family... And then she says that. Note: I get upset at the drop of dime. Mad, sad, irritated etc. I just kept my cool and left the room. I sat by my brother do told him what she said. He was mad. I started to lose it and shake. I grabbed my purse and my keys, went back into the next room and went off on her. I told her how insensitive she was and that im done trying with her. We simply are not the same people anymore. We have nothing in common. And I find her...heartless.

I've made the decision to end it and stop trying. This was the last straw with me. It hurts but I honestly can't imagine being close with her again like years ago. We've grown into two separate people with two separate life's. I'd never expect her to pay me back for what I've done for her in the past because those are things family does for another...but I can't deal with someone so ungrateful and cold. This is especially hard because family means a lot to me. So this isn't an easy decision for me but I have no more straws to grasp at here!

guess I just needed to vent. This whole argument literally just happened 20 minutes ago and I'm shaking. I took a Xanax (my PRN for anxiety) and trying to calm down. I would really REALLY like a cold beer right now lol.

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