Runola - I know exactly how you feel. I had the same childhood, the same loneliness in my marriage etc, the same abandoned by dad issues. The bottom line is to move your therapy forward will take courage and some luck that hopefully your therapist is on board for the work (he should be).

You should talk about your longing for him, for hugs etc. Perhaps an email to your therapist forewarning him about this would be good. I wont lie and tell you it will be easy, because it won't. You actually need to lean into the heartbreak a little to get away from it more, it was counterintuitive for me.

It took me a long time to divulge my feelings, and I let drop a lot of hints in the process to test my therapist and his reactions. I don't know if you can or if you should cheat that whole deal, I think it's important to build real trust and that will just take time.

Sadly too I think the childhood stuff is difficult to treat, not impossible, just takes longer. In these past years I've read a lot about childhood development. The hurt of childhood trauma gets woven into our psyche and carried around for so long it is kind of entrenched in there, and you will need someone who is willing to do the dirty work of helping you dig yourself back out.