Lonesome,

Even IF you did deserve to be punished, damaging your body is not a punishment you deserve. You have to live with what you did. That's a lot of punishment right now. YOu have to deal with the rift you caused between you and your significant other. You are dealing with plenty of consequences from cheating, you don't need to inflict additional pain upon yourself to prove that you've paid for it.

Use your coping skills and maybe even talk to your H about it. Tell him, I feel so bad I feel the need to punish myself by SH, but I know that's not a good option. Maybe it will open a dialogue between the two of you.

Please don't damage your body.

Seesaw