SleepingSacredRose, you said: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I feel guilty and to blame, more so since he said sorry!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So I will repeat from my other reply : Apologies are nice... and sometimes they are manipulative.

An apology is not an eraser, it's an admission of wrong-doing and regret.

I think his apology served him exactly the way he wanted it to; you resonded as he hoped. He was attempting to turn the focus from him so he could feel better.

This is really important and complex and I hope you find a therapist to help you through the layers of it. There is so much to explore and learn about.

hugs to you at this confusing time