Well, most of the people I know have already forgotten this stuff, but I'll think of something as soon as I get my results (5th of July).

School was very difficult for me. Since I was 13 I had panic attacks so serious I had to start taking SSRI's. This lead me to a huge mental breakdown in the middle of high school, I was addicted to benzos and many other drugs for a year and a half (And I was pretty crazy back then, done very embarrassing stuff, was drinking heavily I could easily be expelled, but I was still doing my homework, writing exams etc, my grades didn't change much, so they couldn't. I got back to normal on the last year but grew very hypervigilant with all those bad memories). Nobody ever offered me any help, my parents were totally indifferent (they're not very responsible and easily ignored me no matter what) I was all alone with this. I always thought that if I survive this, I will finally be able to do something nice and show my potential.

But I'm stuck with my parents and feel like getting retarded and much less self sufficient. Worried about loosing my mind. Sadly, even if I could become a student, I would have to study at home (we have some online universities), because I cannot afford renting a flat. My parents are poor and frustrated. And my father is very mean. I hear his hate speech every day: he hates everyone, especially people who have money. He complains and complains. My mother is all about herself too. All my dad had to say about me struggling with myself was "Maybe, if you're mental, you could get some papers and get some government money?"

He likes to assure me that, as I come from a poor family, I will never be able to afford what I want. He says "Now you need to prepare for a whole life of hard, physical job".

When it comes to studying, he was just like "your studies would be ***** anyway, who need psychologists." "And you're mental yourself, how can you treat sick people?" and that I'm obligated to repay him for wasting his life on having a family.

Everything in a passive-aggressive manner. I don't hate my parents, they're cool sometimes, but they hate each other and their life and it did me no good. They're not responsible for their words and actions.

I feel so miserable with this kind of reality.