@BlueBicycle: there's about ten people in my division and ten people in the upper division. I'm really good compared to casual players but not that good compared to competitive players. It's a hard obsession to have because i am a real black-and-white thinker and rate myself and die a thousand deaths with each loss. I try and see the shades of grey in a loss, like perhaps i learned something and try not to rate myself so harshly and be glad i can just play at a competitive level at all but sometimes it is too hard as during my last game where i lost by 50% -- pretty bad. I wish i had an obsessions which didn't inspire such roller-coaster emotions. I'll just take a break and if i never go back, whatever.