I can relate. I am insecure and terrified of abandonment, and my sense of self is far too dependent on external validation.

I just do not buy the conventional ideas about transference in therapy being normal or healthy. Partly because for me it did turn into pulverizing heartbreak, but also because the more i read the less it makes sense. Seems the assumption is that because most Ts are opaque, the client will project onto them, and then good things will happen. What things? How? What if it becomes unworkable? Why should a client trust a T with this?