I used multiple substances tonight. I'm not addicted but I'm ashamed. I drank/drinking and took stimulants. Both things I were addicted to at one point. I'm playing with fire. I feel like such a loser and I know I'm going to regret this post so much. But at least I have a sliver of hope. Hope that tomorrow will be different. Not going to lie...I feel good. But my bf is PISSSSSED. I'm talking about my MI and he's saying "oh your problems then you go out and do THIS!" He's so right. Some days I think I need to be chained up. Or at least drop all these people in my life that enable me. One day I will be strong enough to get a new phone number but obviously not this day!

Just had to get that out.

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