I sometimes feel that my children and husband would be better off without me. I would die a certain death if alone. I would miss them so much and I would probably get myself killed very quickly. I don't want to be alone in stable state... If anything, I want my family around me more than they are willing. Is this mood specific or something you feel all the time? When manic I can feel like everyone is holding me back and holding me down. It's such an embarrassing symptom... The things I do I strange as heck. So embarrassing.

I hope you find your peace in this subject.