black-roses, sometimes we just push people away to protect ourselves, so we can process our hurts and mend give ourselves time to heal. And then we push people away because we struggle with introvert vs. extrovert. Each of us has both and we tend to balance them out, it is called boundaries and they are healthy. It is unhealthy when we are too introverted or too extraverted. That is something you might want to consider. You are lonely yet most people even in a crowded room are lonely for they want to be accepted and understood, not judged. I have found that when i stop looking for acceptance in others and just live my life that happiness returns for it is no longer conditional. I hope some of this helps. I wish you well, tc (((hugs)))