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Who placed you in that group?
And what makes it softer than other types of BP? What makes it different from cyclothymia? How is it different from an anxiety disorder and (unipolar) depression? Do you have any perceptual changes that go along with your changes is mood? Do you feel somewhat in control, does it feel as if you influence your mood, just not very well?
I don't think it's as clear-cut as you might (now) think. But maybe it is.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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