Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
A lot of people feel that way about their parents and fear 'dying alone'. I think the media has perpetuated an image of loved ones gathered around the bedside holding vigil. Personally, I don't think about that. When it's over, it's over. I'd like to feel that I was fulfilled, satisfied, ready to move on.
Which brings us back to close relationships. Don't you want them?
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I'm *dying* for a close personal relationship, it's just that this is usually what happens when I go (or went) on dates:
I would meet a woman online or through other real life connections, and the entire time I was on the date, half of my mind would be thinking "don't freak out, don't freak out, you're safe where you are, you don't need to rush to the washroom, you don't need to race home." The other half of me would be trying to concentrate on the conversation. Then part of my thoughts would be thinking "If she knew what was going on in your head, she wouldn't want to be with you." And I'd also be thinking "I have nothing to offer her, it would be better that she finds someone else."
What really depresses me is that all of these "I have to get out of here" thoughts just disappeared when I lowered my Prozac from 40 mg to 30 mg. They just vanished. The problem is that I was prescribed 80 mg when I was 19, and only just started lowering the dosage at 41. So now I'm trying to get back into dating, but people are married and have kids and houses and whatnot, and I've been fighting so much with my brain that I'm way behind everyone in terms of finances and stability and whatnot, that I feel no one will want me and I have nothing to offer.
