I also think OCD develops in childhood. My husband is very particular about certain things. I have learned it is just his perimeters. Not really a choice. I respect his needs and understand they are a part of him. I think he will feel you are not respecting his needs if you do things that he would not. My mother said something once," when you love them, you don't notice the little things". It sounds to me like you maybe only love parts of him. I would figure out what those parts are and maybe look for them in someone you're more compatible with in other areas. I think people commit too soon to another, then try to change them into who they want. I think people should commit more carefully, and choose someone they really like - not just love, but like. There are things about this guy you just flat out don't like. And those things are not going away.