I was wondering if T knowing/not knowing, or knowing how much often we SH and/or to what extent and seriousness, or wanting to see the marks and commenting on it all or encouraging you to stop, could affect the frequency and seriousness of our behavior in respect of SH.

Like, with me, with T1 we discussed SH just a couple of times and mentioned it just a couple o times without giving it much importance in 7 years (even though it was serious enough for me to go to ER), while i with T2, she shows much interest on the subject making many many questions, asking to look at them etc.

the weird thing is that with T1 i gradually felt the urges to fade, up to the point i involuntarily stopped for 4 months. with T2 instead i feel the urge to behave at my worst. cuts, alcohol, pills.... i want her to see the worst of me.

i understand this is a dynamic and nobody's to blame, but what do you think?
talking about it all the time could make it worse?