today is one of those days that just make me want to curl up in a ball and die.... no,i'm not overtly suicidal, but if a truck pulled out in front of me, I probably wouldn't move an inch. everything feels so pointless and hopeless. I feel like part of the furniture. i just exist.... why? People are irritating me by breathing, i long for silence and peace. But the silence just gives me more time to think about the vacuum that is my life.....i feel so empty and lost today. I am 50 years old with very little to show for my life. i have no dreams left, certainly no dreams of a life filled with hope let alone joy. what is the point to continuing this fight?