I woke up today feeling absolutely miserable. It was anxiety early, but after I woke up again for work I know it's just the depression. I don't know how to go on from here anymore. I feel so alone, especially at work where I can't really show my feelings. Though as of this morning I have now cried in front of 3 coworkers. I wish I didn't have to be here, but it's probably better than being home, because I'd just be in bed trying to sleep the day away.

I've felt so incompetent at work lately, and today really topped it off. I had to pass off a new client to a coworker because I know him. He doesn't know me, but I already felt so much more emotionally involved that I knew it was a bad idea to keep working together. But now I feel like I should've just sucked it up and kept going, even though it was probably the best decision for both of us.

I want to feel better, and every step back feels like I'm losing. I'm frustrated that it's been almost 2 months and I don't feel anything from the medication I'm on. Every time I see my therapist now we're digging around in my past, and it hurts so much but I know it's important to deal with. I just want to feel ok for more than a couple of hours.