guiltier65 - I feel much the same way. I tell my T "I don't want to live and I don't want to die". Wish I had something more uplifting to say. "Vacuum" is a good word to describe my life too. My current bout of depression is going on over 3 yrs. somehow I still hold on to a shred of hope that my life will get better. Just started seeing a new pdoc and hope he finds better med(s) for me. I'm 57 and feel like life has passed right by me.

Is there anything that gives you some hope, no matter how small?

Hang in there (hmmm, poor choice of words)