Hello gabearroyo1114: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find whatever time you spend here to be of benefit.

Well... I must say... you have one AMAZING wife! What she has sacrificed for you is beyond my comprehension. It's good you now recognize your problem & are beginning to reach out for help.

From my perspective, I believe your fantasies are something that require professional mental health attention. I would encourage you to seek the services of a therapist who has expertise in working with people who struggle with these kinds of problems. Perhaps there may be other members, here on PC, who have had similar struggles & who will be able to offer other suggestions. However, from my perspective, these kinds of obsessions do not dissipate easily. Resolving them is a long-term on-going process. I wish both you & your wife well...