Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I also think that if people tend to get attached and develop obsessive transference especially of sexual nature, then it might be a good idea to try different gender t. Like if one always falls in love with females t then go see male t etc I know that I had tendency in my life to get obsessive thoughts about males so it was important for me to see female t. One kind of needs to know themselves and what triggers them. I personally would go see female t under the circumstances
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Well....I actually went down that road already. This *is* the other gender t. The first time this happened it was with a female T. I ended up telling her and it was very awkward after that...she kept asking if she should refer me out? She eventually raised her rates above what I could afford (didn't take insurance), and I quit. I have had a few T's since, two who I didn't click with at all, and another younger female T who was very nice but felt more like a "friend". I think this is an inevitable thing for me (I am bisexual), which is why I need someone with good boundaries to be my T. I have 100% trust in current T, but I just need to get over feeling attached.
As for me not getting my needs met in real life...absolutely. That is what I need help with. I have no delusions about a relationship with T, or anything remotely like a relationship. I do have a ton of anxiety and some attachment issues which make everything hard. On top of that, I have some social problems in that I don't make friends easily, I'm shy, get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, etc. As for my 20 year marriage, it has been falling apart on and off for several years. So you are correct, I'm not good at getting my needs met. And I really hope he can help me with changing that. In the meantime, I will try very hard to stop emailing him between sessions, and maybe that will be a good start to securing some boundaries of my own. Thanks for your post!
