Of course we want to deny it. Who wants to admit they're diseased by this debilitating Illness. If only we could brainwash ourselves into getting better. I've been on and off meds since day one (12 years ago) and when I was off meds I self medicated with alcohol. I'd stabilize on meds and think "see im not sick! I can do this!" Boy was I wrong. I think the more we deny it and refuse help, the worse it gets. I started taking meds again 8 months ago and it took forever and many cocktails to stabilize me.

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