I was browsing random things, one thing led to another and I find myself reading about child abuse... It was someone's history. And it made me think about the "abuse" I went through.

I can say that I was abused (verbally, emotionally, physically) but I often think that what I suffered is really nothing. Compared to other people stories mine is just about a father that from time to time (sparcly) would go from very sweet and caring to very violent for minimal reasons; and a mother with her own mental problems and childhood traumatic experiences that was emotionally distant most of the time, very intrusive and restritive (what I remember best is that she would never let me choose my own clothes I had to wear everything she had bought me even I find them horrible and I felt ashamed wearing them...until my early teen years... and she would make a big fuss about it blaming us for not liking the clothes, feeling victimized when we didn't like them, but never listening and always imposing her wishes).

So, these abuses aren't that terrible. They made me suffer. But I imagine that there are many people that went by similar things and I thing the majority didn't get damage by them. I guess I was a sensitive child, from what I remember I was and that can explain the damages (if this is an important cause).

On the other side, I don't know how much of this contributes to what I am now. There are certainly other reasons for my mental health problems and blaming my parents poor parenting skill just seems like a cliché to me. A reason many like to blame, even without conscience, because palying the victim and making the external environment the cause of our problems is easier and gives some beneficts (like atention from other people that must assume a care position towards the victim).

I understand that are people that still suffer remembering the past, but I barely remember my past and even if I remember it, it is not of much importance to me.

My psycotherapy apointments aren't getting anywhere. The psychologist never explored deeply my past. She just asked about school over the years and friends at school and how I was as a child and about my actual relations with my family members. So I haven't give it much though, but after this I am now wondering if this is a issue that I should bring or if it is even important for the type of therapy (which I don't know very well what is, but something to make me realize what are my thinking patterns and change them, so a therapy focused on the present) I am doing. And if I dicide to bring it what would be the ideal moment...throughing it out of nowhere or waiting for a topic/excuse that may not come.
I don't want people to feel pity for me, I don't want to be a "poor girl", because I see this more as an experience that influenced me than a traumatizing event.