When your T says to stop being mean to yourself, and throughout the week you're like 'I hate myself. I hate myself. What if I did this instead of that! What if, what if, what if! A never ending cycle! I'm so ugly. Who would dare to love me? That's right: no one. Oh! Better not think that. T told me to be nice to myself. But I don't deserve it..."
Yeah. See how well that worked? At least it is not as often or as awful as before.
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life.
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