I think there is a big difference between depression and laziness, although they can have similarities. I wouldn't say you're lazy at all, because as someone who has suffered from depression I know that when I am very depressed I don't feel like doing anything. It isn't because I am lazy it is because I am too sad and don't care enough at that point in time.

As for everyone being better off - so not true. I know it can feel like no one cares sometimes. Heck, I feel that way right now. But I care about you. I don't even know you and I care about you. If I found out something happened to you I would be extremely sad. So there's already one person who wouldn't be better off if you weren't here.

We should all know by now that life is a rollercoaster. There are probably more lows than highs for us here, but as bad as you are feeling right now things can change dramatically fast without us even expecting it. Right now you just need something to make you feel better. Some people are able to find ways on their own, others may need medication or a change in medication. Either way is okay as long as it helps. Sorry that I don't have any more to offer, just my support. I hope things get better for you soon..