I've thought a lot about what Omega had to say. I probably do spend too much time comparing myself to others. I'm not the person I'd hoped to be. I have much to be thankful for, but it only makes me feel worse when i think about the parent I was.... so angry and occassionally abusive. I sought help, but the damage is done. Now they are grown and the guilt/shame threaten to bury me alive. I know that living in the past is pointless and i don't usually do that. But, right now I can't seem to stop these thoughts and the hopeless spiralling. I feel so alone, because i am stuck in the same old hole that i've been in so many times. everyone is sick of the same old tune, with a new chorus.