All these ups and downs are so difficult!

I was hopeful last week. Started to feel better. Woke up on Sunday and after breakfast, sadness overcame me once again. I could feel it and I couldn't stop it. I started having suicidal thoughts again which made me feel bad since I haven't felt that way after my recovery from depression several years back.

The thoughts are gone now but the fatigue is back! I don't know. Maybe, I'm just totally burnt out! Which is why I keep having ups and downs.

I called in sick yesterday. Decided to take a mental health day. I haven't told my boss about depression. I just say I'm not feeling well. But I'm back at work today but the motivation is nowhere to be found.

I'm on vacation in 2 weeks. I just have to hang in there until then. I really need this time off and I plan on enjoying my Europe trip with my friend.