I've been thinking about this all day and I've come to feel like a therapy failure! I was making such good progress there for a while and it seems now I am stuck in this black hole and I can't seem to get out. My pdoc really made me think about this after his comment about giving myself a kick in the butt. I know he meant well and it is probably the truth but sometimes I don't feel like I will ever be myself again. Maybe I should just stop going to therapy and if I live I live and if I die I die! Sometimes I think I really want to give up and just give into the depression and let it take me so far down that there is no return. At least the end would be some kind of accomplishment???? I just have days when I think I just can't keep doing this anymore I just don't have the energy to keep on fighting. Its kinda like drowning...there is a short period of struggle and then you realize your going to drown so you just let go and sink to the bottom and its over.