My disc has been degenerative for who knows how long. I asked for a MRI to look better and the found out it's almost bulging against both sides of my sciatic nerve. My doctor said the only way to stop the pressure on the nerve is back surgery. He referred me to this neurosurgeon, who he claims save his life twice. The surgeon has really good reviews. But it's not that. Everyone I've ever talked to told me not to have back surgery, no matter how "minimally invasive" they claim because they all ended up in worse pain. I grew how watching my grandpa sit in his red chair from the day he got home from the hospital after have back surgery until he died. That's all I really knew of my grandpa growing up. I have this reoccurring dream since he died. For some reason, his chair is in the back room leading to the backyard. Except his chair is facing away from the window. I bang in the window, try to open the door, try to find the spare key, scream, anything to try to get his attention. And that's my entire dream. I try so hard to get to him but then I just wake up.

Everyone keeps telling me that that's the last and technology and medicine has advanced majorly, but it doesn't change anything. All I see is my grandpa. People keep saying it's silly that I even worry about that. But it doesn't change anything.

So basically it comes down to if I want to have back surgery at 24 or continuing being in pain.

Honestly, Id rather take being in pain.

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