Then everything got worse when I was 14 mother abandoned me the year before I developed anorexia for three months were my hair was falling out in large clamps because of my vanity towards my hair, I stopped my self torture towards myself. Now, I am more into spending money on things I don't need. I always have one addiction to something self destructive I guess that is just how I am. Very tempermental, very social isolationist. I can't help but just sit on the corner on the laptop everyday it makes me feel safe and I don't have to put up with anyone does anyone get my drift. Then I am lonely and sad about it... I don't know what I want at times it is like I am my own contradiction.