Ok, so I wasn't really sure if I should post this in the BPD forum or here. But I think this would be the most helpful because I know BPD backwards, forwards, and inside out. The problem I'm having is not understanding Bipolar AT ALL.

So I've been with my boyfriend for a couple months now, and it's been wonderful. But it's also been the hardest couple of months I've ever had in a relationship. When things are going good they are better and easier than I ever thought a relationship could be. But there is one major thing that I feel is the reason things are hard. He's Bipolar, and I have Borderline Personality Disorder. At first when he told me he was Bipolar I didn't real think it would be an issue at all. They do after all say professionals have a really hard time separating the two disorders because they are so similar. So we should understand each other right? If our disorders are so similar it should be really easy right?

WRONG.

I COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG.

I guess I can see how they are similar, but oh my goodness. The only real issue is when we are fighting, and I'll tell you why, ME. So if you know nothing about BPD...I can't really explain it in short form. Like it LITERALLY makes NO sense to someone who doesn't have a BPD brain. BP is a chemical thing and BPD is like....not. OK I TRIED. I can't think of a short way to explain it. I'll post the Google definition for those who don't know what it is, only because I think it's important for the story. So here's the part that makes our fights so bad.
"Borderline personality disorder is ultimately characterized by the emotional turmoil it causes. People who have it feel emotions intensely and for long periods of time, and it is harder for them to return to a stable baseline after an emotionally intense event."

...This post is a train wreck...

I'M SORRY.

Basically I'm CRAZY emotional. He can just change the tone in his voice and I'll pick up on it and think I did something wrong and ask over and over and over if he's ok. He says nothing is wrong and he gets that tone when he's tired or not feeling anything. (which having BPD I literally have NO IDEA how someone can not be feeling anything, like is this a thing???) But I can't make myself listen...and I'll keep asking. Then he DOES get mad. And we will fight. BAD. Then he needs a lot of time to cool down and he goes back to that "unemotional" place. Someone please help me understand Bipolar. Being BPD I can go 0-100 in zero seconds flat, then go to 20, 80, -30, 200, and back in under a minute. I'm up and down and all over the place, my emotions run my life. And for some reason him just being chill and doing nothing triggers me really bad and sends me UP THE WALL. It makes me so anxious. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. And his emotions change out of nowhere, not like what people stereotype BP to be like, in all honesty BPD is MUCH closer to the stereotype of BP if you ask me. But I mean like he can just get that blank emotionless feel out of nowhere, then he can also get depressed out of nowhere. The only reason it's an issue is because I want to fix it, I want to make him happy again. But that blank feeling is not a bad thing right? Normal people feel like that too don't they? Is there anything I can even do? Or does he just have to ride it out? I really hope I'm not offending anyone. I'm 100% not educated about this.

I guess the main reason I'm writing this is I want someone to explain BP to me better, I want to be able to UNDERSTAND what he's going through. What things help? What makes things worse? What things do I just need to let him work through? I know you might say "just ask him" but we tried that. We can't talk on the same level. Like we can't get each other to understand each other. I'm pushing him to the edge. Like he had very good control of his BP until me. We trigger the worst in each other. I'm starting therapy again next month, so things should get better. Thank you for reading down this far, I'm sorry this was so....badly put together. Like I know what I want, but I can't get the right words.....

Any help would be amazing. I also think I might post something about this in the BPD forum too. I don't know.....I'm falling apart here. Sorry.