Quote:
Originally Posted by annielovesbacon
I am going on a date with a guy this week. I already know him pretty well and I hope that we will continue seeing each other after that first date. When is it appropriate to tell someone you're seeing you have a mental illness? That's not exactly a first date topic, but I feel like if you wait too long, it appears like you were trying to hide it and then they feel "trapped."
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It sounds like you already have your answer. I agree. I wouldn't want to talk about it on the very first date, but once you have talked several times and have gotten to know each other better, where you feel comfortable enough to open up, then I would not delay in letting that person know some of my difficulties because I would rather scare them away sooner rather than later.
I would not want to get too attached and then find out later that this man has no compassion or tolerance for people with difficulties and cannot see the best in me, or we will not be good for one another. If I tried to hide my problems then I am not giving the other person a chance to see if that is what they really want. I am not giving them the chance to show me if they have enough goodness inside to step up to the plate, or show them that I am thinking the best of them by giving them a chance to show me that they are capable of loving me.
We must have faith until proven differently and give others a chance. Neither one of us will know what we are getting into if we can't be ourselves. Opening up will either bring out the best or worst in the other person and it is something we have to find out so we don't cheat our self or the other person of finding out. We want to care enough to allow them to find someone right for them as we would like to find that for our self, so we have a duty to show them who we really are. That is the only way to find true love.
Trust God to help you find it and don't worry about making impressions but rely on His blessings. You may be just who they needed but they can't find that out if you hide your true self-good or bad. It is only fair to that other person to be honest so you can see if you have met the right kind of man that you need and they can show you that they can accept and appreciate you, and vice versa. There may be things about that man that will bring out the best in you and find out more about yourself then what you knew. He may motivate you to become better as you do the same for him. That is when you know you are right for each other.