{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I have to echo what Heidu is saying to you too hun. I have been there and take it from me....use this energy to take care of you and your son.

I was in an abusive marriage too and was planning for my "way out". I was tired of the abuse...physically and emotionally drained of everything that he was putting me through. I came so close to driving into that bridge and decided to stop the car right then. All I saw was my son's face and thought to myself - what if I don't succeed? What if I don't die? He is going to be growing up with a Mom that needs constant care all his life and I also didn't want him to think I did this to him...I would have left him alone with his father. From that moment I knew things had to change for him and me. I drove back home - packed the ex's bags and that was it. I had no family support then either. I was tired of the financial drain he put on me. I was like you...I supported him financially as well....only difference was that he didn't look after our son while I was working....I was on my own then too.

Do you know what though? It was the absolute best thing I have ever done my whole life . It was hard - believe me- so very hard but it was sooo worth it. I ended up losing my house (I made the money but he controlled it- he didn't make a few mortgage payments while we were married and I didn't know this til I went to renew the mortgage a few months after he was gone...house was foreclosed as I couldn't come up with the arrears - and no family support - oh well ) Still I wouldn't change a thing. To this day I still do not get any financial support from him and to be honest with you - it makes me feel better not getting anything from him. My son still sees his dad - they now have a good relationship and I try to encourage that through gritted teeth. I only want my son to be happy and if seeing his dad helps right now then so be it. He is almost 8 now and is like your son...very intelligent for his age. He is ahead of his peers in school and very mature as well. I am so very proud of him and I know that my choice I made that day contributed to that.
I went on to get my health together.....met a terrific guy - had another child...things are good.

Please reconsider your thoughts {{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}} it can be done....I've been there hun and I am living proof that life can be better when you make the right choice. Yes you are here and your strength will keep you here too. We all care for you.

Hugs
Heather

<font color=blue>The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way </font color=blue>