s4ndm4n2006 that is quite a good observation! Given my past co-dependency issues. I would say you hit the nail on the head! Truth be told she has referred to me as a "teacher." I have been here many times before. However I do not seek to dominate or control her. I really want a partnership.

She teaches me too, perhaps not intentionally. But as long as I look inside myself instead of blaming her for the way I feel. I grow.

With that said I feel really uncomfortable with the "teacher" tag and whenever she says it. I always counter with we are each other's teacher. In the past, my ego loved being called a teacher, and I would take advantage of that. I don't want to take advantage of anyone any more. I just want truth.

I know I can't save her (an old story). I know I can't change her (another old story). I simply want to be present. For me, it's just simply the best place to be, always.

I feel there has been some miraculous healing taking place for both of us. "and want to help her to come to the place where you've grown." Another on point observation. With that said, it's an expectation. I try to let go of those types of thoughts as I know it will only lead to disappointment. Only time will tell.

I came on here in an old story. Going to a forum to be validated. And to label my partner as a narcissist or bpd. It was purely my ego wanting to be validated. When I started reading up about it. I saw a lot of myself. That's when I realized all this *hit I was stirring up was more about myself than her. I looked inward and released my resistance and it was like a huge weight had been lifted. I grew.

Attachment, dependency, yes, no doubt, a huge concern. I just feel if I can stay present things will just "be."

edit: I think I am just trying not to judge her. It feels as though when i judge her. I judge myself. So instead of looking outside myself to be "right" and make her "wrong". I accept her just as she is. It seems to create a space for love and healing. At least that's how it feels. It's a lot more peaceful and I seem to grow if I am honest with myself.

edit: I think I have been saying to other people for like 30 years, "What you say about others is a reflection of yourself." Logically it always made sense. I think I finally get what this really means.

s4ndm4n2006 - Thank you so much for replying! Any other insight you could lend me would be much appreciated! Be well!