Dear T

I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow, about what you'll say about my email. I was really honest. A big part of it I had also told T-on-leave when she was still my T, but it wasn't really helpful. And now I've all these feelings, mostly anger and hurt. It's eating me. I feel so unmotivated and down, empty.
Maybe this email will change how you think about me, maybe you'll think less about me. I'm a bit worried, but I also feel like what does it matter, sooner or later she (you) will leave me too (so when it's not my choice to end therapy). I have this feeling of whatever when it comes to you and our therapy and what I tell you.

Even though I think you're alright, I don't feel a connection (yet). It's not like with other T, but I've known her for years. But it makes me feel so lonely during a difficult time.