Why do I keep on looking at the blank television screen and envision myself in Afghanistan? It was around my second tour in Afghanistan. After that second tour I came home briefly, because my wife was pregnant, and about to give birth. I was there, but my mind was in another place. I couldn't tell my wife, because I knew she wouldn't understand at that time. In my mind, I put that emotion in a box, and lock out down. I ended up getting three more tours in Afghanistan. My wife was wondering why I wanted to keep on going back to Afghanistan. She told me you did your job, I want my husband back at home. All I could think about was protecting my fellow seal brothers, and other troops. If I was back at home, and if I lost my seal brothers during their op, I wouldn't be able to live with that. Our trident, means more than just being seals, but we were a band of brothers that trained along side each other. We endured. We sweat. We bled. We ate out of trash cans during BUDs together. We raised our boats up in the air, above our heads as boat crews. We did log PT together. Everything we did had meaning to it. If we lost a brother in battle, we lost a lot. Sorry to bore you all with this. We were trained to harness that emotion, and turn it into adrenaline, or motivation.